The storefront is crisp and vivid in every way. Its patio is strewn with bulb lighting and vivid silver tables, whilst the interior beams in smooth white tile and a crimson neon sign proclaiming its arrival along an otherwise established stretch of St. Paul. Pilgrims fortuitously waited along a sprig-painted mural depicting the Cookie Crisp-fiending wolf and Cinnamon Toast Crunch rectangular, as Cardi B and Bruno Mars’ “Please Me” blasted from the stereo.
In assessment to Grand Ole Creamery just a stone’s throw down the manner, Treats feels just like the embodiment of a shopping center’s identification.
Remember the times of yore while you’d eat an excessive amount of Captain Crunch and it’d shred the roof of your mouth? Treats has a unique kind of machine, more auger than blender, that obliterates every element into such a pleasant powder that best the cereal’s flavor remains, with minimum hint of their damning texture. The base ice creams used were greater tangy than cloying, like candy cream, which kept the mutant desserts from being too sweet, towards all odds.
Watching the whole thing we didn’t order arise, separately, was a test in persistence as sadistic because it possibly become intentional on a part of the workforce (I think). Eventually, with handiest my milkshake but to arrive, I started to crack. After seeing a 4-year-antique lady cradle her “Cocoa Party” as she retrieved it from the counter—its swirl of Cocoa Puffs, Oreo O’s, and chocolate chips in a giant neon-inexperienced matcha cone studded with toasted mini-marshmallows—my jaw fell open so far that 3 (3) entire strangers definitely laughed at me, now not the kid.
“I’ve made a massive mistake,” I whined. My partner cautioned I “just take it from her” due to the fact “honestly there aren’t any results here.” Even we were not (yet) thinking about diabetes. That text alternate turned into still hours away.
Right approximately then, Treats co-proprietor Trisha Seng handed by means of the ready place to check on her visitors. She made certain we knew to stir the layers of our lovely, Instagram-ready Strawberry Latte Matcha tea for the first-rate tasting revel in, and requested how I favored my (brilliant) Taro milk bottle.
When my “Berry Kiss” milkshake arrived, it become greater than I’d dare wish for. Loaded with Fruity Pebbles, Froot Loops, and Trix combined into strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry gentle serve, it got here garnished with even more Froot Loops and a handful of gummy bears. Truly, it become amazing, and somehow no longer overbearing. The texture become simply proper, even the gummy bears, which so regularly end up inedible whilst thrown atop frozen foods.
Ignoring our historic guts, Treats’ captivating patio have become a subject for Olympic feats of consuming. Locked in competition, my milkshake in opposition to a birthday cake-flavored waffle cone chocked with “Apple Craze” (Apple Jacks, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Captain Crunch), my friend and I determined ourselves reminiscing about being teens.
Parkour become beginning to feel like an inexpensive interest. Said friend exclaimed: “I need to do some pranks!” He’s solidly in his 30’s, for reference.
These are the sorts of “grownup” conversations we can assume Treats to spawn inside the Twin Cities this summer. Next time I move—and there may be a next time—I profess to pilot a Lime scooter there. It only appears proper.
Hopefully my medical health insurance will have kicked in through then.
